the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
