Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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