what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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