even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
