i think my tv is drunk
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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