Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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