Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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