Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the liver wants what the liver wants
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
