so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
being pregnant is like rehab
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
