I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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