So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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