Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
