Ketchup is God's man juice
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
