you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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