ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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