And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
