the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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