I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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