If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
