If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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