mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
