I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
