its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
