chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just blew my weed a kiss
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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