I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's get the cat blown out
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
