If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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