if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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