Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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