There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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