is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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