is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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