you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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