Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
