my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize