he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
