you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
vagina is talking i cant
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize