just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Let's get the cat blown out
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
