I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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