i just had sex bonerless
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he fucked my hip out of place.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My bed smells like the plague
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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