When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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