Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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