Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I want a musical about memes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
