he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
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He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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