Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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