If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
