this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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