maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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