Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
