I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
