Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
