I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
