Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
