How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
