you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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