Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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