omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
