One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
