She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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