Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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