I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
