I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize