how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
