I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
