my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
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