I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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