HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
