is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize