i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize