two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
